SIDE TRACKED?

Ok so like I don't get why I do certain things sometimes. It's like I'm not thinking or I'm doing it because I think I like it but I really don't. It seems like the things that don't matter to me is what I'm doing and the things that actually do matter to me I'm bailing out on it. For a perfect example, BOYS, they really aren't important since a real woman needs a man ;) haha JK! but for example I find myself being boy crazy & checking guys out more than usual lately! haha, I haven't really done that in awhile because Im SUPER busy and hello it's campbell, (not my first pick of the litter if you know what I mean.) && there comes Cheerleading, my life, passion and basically everything I do is for cheer but it seems that has become my latest disaster! I feel like I want soo many goals && have set for myself in cheer but aren't able to accomplish. I push myself to the edge for it and it just slowly gets better, WHY?! Why must my tumbling come so slow? It's making me dispise that part of cheer, but yet I still wanna do it? IDK it just feels like im getting side-trackedd about it and maybe loosing FOCUS on whats important right now.